I think we cannot do both. We cannot be invested in our importance and that of our worlds. Something has to give, and I would choose myself — I have before. I did exactly what you refuse to, long ago.

[ His tone drops, not into ice but into the long, narrow chokehold that always makes him breathless with frustration and despair. That turns him further from goodness and virtue, because nobody will compromise themselves to the extent he will ( he so believes ).

also he doesnt want sebastian sniffing around this vulnerability help, ]

I will never hold wishes for myself higher than that of my world's existence.