[ tony would insist that it is him, as if he has something to prove, but that’s only childish defiance. he doesn’t want to be called a monster, let alone actually be one by any metric. why amos cares about how tony thinks of himself, however, tony doesn’t understand.

as the communion lightens, so does the weight on his shoulders and he breathes out. ]

…yeah.

[ he feels fidgety. while amos may not be peering into his heart, tony is giving himself the internal gaze of a lifetime, and he desperately wishes jomy were here to help talk him through some of these confusing new aspects of socializing with a people he had entirely written off.

—and, in some ways, his own people he had written off. they may not even exist anymore, but amos’ description of what makes a monster makes him feel guilty and unpleasant. ]

Grandpa always asked me to work for the sake of the others, so that’s what I want to do. I just… dunno how. Without him here.