open to all | questions and apologies

[tresemme]

[ if you’re lucky, you’ve never heard this voice before. if you have, you’ll probably notice that he seems considerably less grouchy than he did making his greeting rounds in springstar and highstorm. tony has had time to settle in, and more importantly, he’s made some big decisions about what side he wants to support here.

…for now, at least, which is the quiet motivation behind his demanding communion. he seems utterly at home invading people’s minds, and there’s the sense of him stretching out like he’s been here the whole time and was just waiting for you to get home. ]

People here are from all different worlds, right?

[ rhetorical question, and he continues. ]

I want to hear from whoever’s been to Terra. The third planet in the Sol System. I know some of you call it Earth—the fact that you have a name for it means that you know about it. [ a pause. ] I’ll torture the knowledge out of you if I have to, but it’s easier for everyone if you just cough it up.

[ that seems to be the end of that, unless you’re a zenite, to which he then narrows his focus. ]

…sorry if you heard me say I want all the humans to die. I know we have to work together.

Comments

[tresemme]

[ tony would insist that it is him, as if he has something to prove, but that’s only childish defiance. he doesn’t want to be called a monster, let alone actually be one by any metric. why amos cares about how tony thinks of himself, however, tony doesn’t understand.

as the communion lightens, so does the weight on his shoulders and he breathes out. ]

…yeah.

[ he feels fidgety. while amos may not be peering into his heart, tony is giving himself the internal gaze of a lifetime, and he desperately wishes jomy were here to help talk him through some of these confusing new aspects of socializing with a people he had entirely written off.

—and, in some ways, his own people he had written off. they may not even exist anymore, but amos’ description of what makes a monster makes him feel guilty and unpleasant. ]

Grandpa always asked me to work for the sake of the others, so that’s what I want to do. I just… dunno how. Without him here.

[baltimores]

[ There are a lot of things Amos can't pick up on within the space of communion — often the nuances of emotions, because those tend to be lost on him in the best of times, and the best of times would definitely include having direct access to them. But being fidgety? That's impossible to misunderstand, and so he takes a step back, pauses. Does he try to reassure Tony... give him space...

Those words strike a chord with him, and so: reassure it is. ]

I know how you feel. I've needed people to help me my whole life.

[ There is the sensation of Amos tentatively reaching out. Were they in person he'd be trying to grasp Tony's shoulder as if that would steady him; through communion he is... trying the communion equivalent of that. Solidarity? ]

I think you can try to remember what he'd say to you if you get stuck, but I know it can be easy to forget. You get lost in the moment. It slips your mind. It don't come natural.

[ Is he close? Is this how empathizing works?? Amos hesitates for a second, wondering if he should be talking about himself this much, before figuring he might as well plow ahead to the inevitable conclusion. ]

I haven't had anyone from my old life with me in a long time, so I try to focus on what Yima would want me to do. It helps. Not gonna say I don't fuck up sometimes, but if I know I got her to focus on, then I figure I'll probably be alright more often than not.

[tresemme]

[ it’s confusing and scary to hear amos mention his “old life” as something separate from how he lives now; tony isn’t ready to let go of that, even if he’s chosen zenith. even so, everything else is steady and reassuring—at least, insofar as amos seems so sure of what he’s saying that tony can take heart that someone knows what’s going on.

no, he can’t see himself deferring to yima in the way that amos does, but he can try to imagine what jomy would want for him. ]

I’ve never been without him. I…

[ there’s hesitation on his side, too. he doesn’t know why he’s telling amos this, when amos is just some guy that’s been nice to him. they’re not friends, and he’s not even a fellow mu. ]

I had to grow up. When my planet was destroyed, Grandpa needed my help. So I forced myself into this body, but… [ he’s not an adult, but neither is he a child anymore. he’s just lonely. ] This is the first time I’ve ever been away from him.

[baltimores]

[ Oh.

There is the sense of clarity washing over Amos. Comprehension. Tony is just a kid, and with that realization comes a fierce sense of protectiveness: Amos ready to wrap his arms around him, kill anyone who would try to hurt him now. Tony needs help, and so he has decided: he will help him. ]

I think I know where you're coming from. I had to grow up too fast, too. [ Not like Tony did. Not literally. But the principles apply. ] And when I had to leave behind the woman who raised me... I didn't know what to do without her, either. So, I hear you. It's tough.

[ And his presence is gentle; an extended hand, if Tony wants to take it. ]

I can help you, if you need someone. I haven't been through what you have, but in a way, I think I've already lived it. So if you need help taking that next step... I'll take it with you.