kenoscomm | communion | stargazer-focused but ota

[The things Matt says come so close to making sense to Liem, and yet they keep falling short. He makes it sound like what Meridian wants is to wind the clock back, to turn back time until they get to the point before everything went wrong. Liem will admit to not having all the answers, but that has never been his impression of Meridian’s goal.]

Resurrection is not… time travel. That’s not what I’m suggesting. Before coming here, I didn’t think time travel was even possible.

[Now… he doesn’t know. The whole situation with the Iconoclast Oracle was a strange one, and he isn’t sure what to make of it. He frowns for a moment into his cup of coffee. Takes a meditative sip.]

The longer we’re here, the more I think that before we can do anything, Meridian or Zenith, we first need to defeat Oblivion. Otherwise whatever worlds we flee to, new or old, will just be consumed regardless.

[ Matt winces a bit, guiltily, for not what I'm suggesting. Most everything he says here is a hypothesis, of course. It has to be. But he can see how it sounded like he was leaping to a conclusion, and he hates when other people do that to him.

However, at the talk of defeating Oblivion, his expression sharpens curiously. ]

Okay, now that makes sense to me. [ And indeed, the maybes or apologetics that have colored his tone thus far in this conversation are absent. ] I mean, I don't know how you're defining Oblivion, but if you mean just broadly the thing that destroyed our worlds--yeah. I agree.

And what's really interesting about that goal to me is that it doesn't really require fighting each other. In fact, a war sounds like it'd get in the way.

[Lifting his coffee cup, Liem regards Matt over the rim as he sips it, considering the tenor of the other man’s musings. It’s a little interesting to see Matt trying to straddle both sides of the line here, when he’d been so firmly on the side of entropy before. Perhaps this is truer to the kind of person he was before the Kenoma’s indoctrination wormed its way into him.]

That is what I mean, yes. The way our worlds were ended, they were clearly undone by some outside force. And the things I’ve seen here have made me think it might be… if not aware, then at least a distinct entity. Like an Outer God.

[This is not a comforting thought to him, particularly because it seems unpleasantly plausible. And how does one kill an Outer God? Can it even be done?]

I don’t know why things are set up to be this way here, though. I spoke with someone who’d been here since the first Oracle War, but they were either unwilling or unable to disclose who’s set Kenos up to be this way.

[ Distinct. Aware. Matt thinks of the hungering shadows again, the ones he saw in the depthless shallow of Yima's pool. Only this time, he doesn't think of them as creatures unto themselves, but as the tips of clawed fingers. In his mind's eye, the hand extends a long way back. ]

Unwilling or unable? [ Matt frowns. He wonders if this is the person Gavial alluded to--the sketchy mage. ] Did you talk to them? I mean ...

Based on what I've been told, [ with a briefly irritated moue--hearsay! great! ] the contest has never actually been successfully completed. And even if this is some god's divine will to have us fighting for these opposing goals, I kind of feel like ...

Okay, I've been trying to explain this to people. [ A sheepish smile. ] But there's this concept in a religion where I come from called "anahata nad." It translates to "the note that strikes without the two parts touching," and it means basically that when you expand your view of the cosmos, you can see ways where things that appear to be in conflict can actually harmonize, and there's space for both. So even here, in a place that seems really driven by heightened polarity ... why shouldn't there be a third way?

Well… When I say “spoke with”, I mean over communion. I have not been unlucky enough to meet this person face to face.

[As far as Liem knows, everyone who’s actually seen Aetós in person had terrible experiments done to them. He only knows what they look like because of the memories of one such person.]

This person, Aetós, told me that when a resolution cannot be reached, the shard-bearers are all “purged” by… who or whatever governs Kenos. They said that they alone of the first generation were able to discover it, but that they could not say why information on these past, failed generations is so lacking. I am fairly certain their silence must be part of whatever bargain they struck in order to be allowed to continue existing here.

[Does that make Matt’s theory more likely, or less? Liem couldn’t say, but it certainly adds an extra sense of urgency to their conflict, which was already urgent to begin with.]

But… the shadows, and these other strange phenomena that have been happening of late; I think they might herald something terrible. Aetós said they had never seen anything like it—at least, the people appearing and then vanishing again in mere moments—and I wonder if it’s because… whether we succeed or not, this generation might be the last.

[Perhaps Oblivion has finally begun to catch up to them even here.]

[ Matt frowns, an interested flicker passing over his face for "unlucky enough." But he's positive this is the person Gavial was talking about; the accounts of what they said match up too perfectly.

Most of the rest of this, Matt turns over in his head without drawing any particular conclusion. Liem is personifying the underlying metaphysical architecture of Kenos in a way Matt hasn't thought to, but it doesn't mean he's wrong. And this generation might be the last--it sends a chill down Matt's spine. ]

I agree with you that it's meaningful that this has never happened before, [ he muses. ] I mean, I don't know if every cycle has had its ... idiosyncratic elements. But from what I've seen of these shadows myself ...

I don't know, [ he says. But then he adds, ] They remind me of my dream. What I saw, just before I came here.

I wouldn’t be surprised at all if that was the source of them, [Liem agrees.

He doesn’t know, of course, that the hungering shadows and the searing light, the disappearing landmarks and the strange dreams are all heralds of the same force that destroyed their homes—but they herald something, and he has a feeling that if they cannot discover a way to triumph over that nothingness, they won’t get another chance.]

We dream, sometimes, after being dissipated—while the Tree reforms us.

[He says this like the idea of being popped like a soap bubble and regrown is totally normal.]

Those dreams can be illuminating—like the Tree is trying to impart insight into why it brought us here, and what we must do. But the information we have is hard to piece together.

[Stitching scraps of dreams together with lived experiences is difficult. He still feels like he’s completely adrift.]

[ Most of this conversation has been fraught, to put it mildly. But this time, as Liem elaborates, Matt's expression drifts into a pleased sort of wistfulness. He's thinking about being back at the Tree of Life with Tezcatlipoca, staring in awe at the endless sky. It's the kind of place where a hungering darkness feels impossible. ]

I love that Tree, [ he says, verging on a sigh. Matt absolutely believes the Tree of Life is trying to communicate with them, though he wonders if maybe it's being prevented somehow from speaking freely. Like that sketchy mage person is. ] And I totally sympathize with getting communiques or portents that are hard to square, but if you need a fresh set of eyes, I'd love to know about whatever info there is.

[ He wonders if it would be worth it to die--sorry, dissipate--for the chance of glimpsing something meaningful. It's not like he wouldn't come back. ]

[If there’s one thing about this conversation with Matt that hasn’t surprised Liem at all, it’s Matt’s clear reverence for the Tree. The Tree of Life is exactly the kind of huge, beautiful, unfathomable entity that Liem would imagine Matt would fall in love with. Also, as locations go, that one is just quite peaceful.

He’s not sure if that love necessarily translates into trust, though. He’s still not entirely clear on what kind of answers Matt considers significant, or how he would interpret them coming from an inscrutable cosmic entity. Nonetheless, he’s clearly interested, and Liem sees no reason to withhold information from him.]

Would you like to see the dream I had the last time I was reforming? This would have been last year, in the middle of Erqu, so quite some time ago now. But I haven’t been able to grasp its significance yet.

[Because D hasn’t yet made his communion about Cyrus’s empty husk.]

Oh. [ Matt's eyebrows lift in surprise. The soft, wistful look gains light and heat, as well as a touch of bashfulness--like Liem's just given him an unexpected compliment, or asked him out for coffee. Matt you're getting coffee right now ... ]

If you feel comfortable sharing that-- [ Matt was spitting up dirt for what felt like hours after he arrived here. He can't imagine how the process of reforming would feel if you knew it was because you'd received a mortal injury. He imagines it might be personal. ] --then yes. I'd love to see it.

[ He's not as confident in dream interpretation as he is in some of his other occult skills. But at least he has a decent mental rolodex of symbolism. ]

All right.

[Liem is very much not going to share the reason for why he had to be regrown at the Tree on that occasion, or discuss what had been going on with him around that time in general, but he is willing enough to share his dream. He sets down his coffee when Matt agrees, interlacing his fingers on the table while he delves back to retrieve his memory of that particular vision.

It’s not quite as clear as it had been in the days immediately after his revival. Mostly it’s the broad strokes that come through: The night sky and the glassy water reflecting it. The sense of peaceful detachment as he regards the twinkling tapestry above. The sight of his physical form continuing on across the water without him, and the gut-lurching certainty that something else now dwelled within it. The terror as the black between the stars swallows him whole.

He’d had his own questions, his own fears in the wake of that dream, but he’ll let Matt come to his own conclusions. That is, after all, the point of sharing.]

[ It's a pleasant vision, to start. Matt smiles thoughtfully at the impressions of night and water. The stars gleam like gemstones set in black glass, and then--

Liem's body continues without him.

The dark eats.

Matt's shoulders tighten in a brief shudder. His magic has been so intertwined with his body for so long that the idea of something else walking around in it--it's why he got the tattoo on his back, the diagram to prevent demonic possession. He thinks about the voices he'd heard in Alenroux, the shadows he saw in Yima's pool. About the wendigo, with its talent for ravenous mimicry. ]

Are they anglerfish? [ he says, letting the words rush out before his self-consciousness can stop them. That's how you have to be with portents: turn off your editor, let instinct drive. ] Are they practicing?

[When Matt floats his impressions, all Liem can do is spread his hands slightly in a brief suggestion of a shrug. He’d wanted a second opinion—or third opinion, really, given he’s already shared this dream with Set—but he’s still at a loss as to how close to the truth any of them might actually be.]

Perhaps. If this phenomenon is related to the destruction of our existences, I don’t know what the connection is. Perhaps it is how the entity arrives, gains a little footing, so it can break everything open.

[The idea that the thing swallowing the sky and the thing to “take” his body in the dream would be the same is relatively new for Liem. He’s only just begun to consider things from that angle.]

During the previous Oracle trial, some shard-bearers were dissipated by shadows in the form of people, and then their shards possessed so the shadows could mimic them instead. As far as I know all of these people had their shards retrieved before the trial was over, but it is a worrying thing—and perhaps related.

[ Finally, someone's telling Matt what the hell happened in one of these Oracle contests. The knowledge does nothing to diminish his horror, however. He turns over gain a little footing and break everything open, wondering--could that have been happening back at home, and he had no idea? People being overtaken by stretching shadows?

Undoubtedly. The world is such a big place--or at least it was. Plenty was going on, including mystically, that Matt's awareness didn't touch at all. ]

Yeah, [ he murmurs. ] I mean, whatever the mechanism might be exactly ... there's shadows, this feeling of familiarity, a desire to overtake in some way. People have been disappearing, I heard. I know there's plenty of monsters out there, however you define them ... but I don't know, Occam's razor would say that the explanation with the fewest pieces is most likely to be the right one.

It feels significant, [Liem agrees.

He doesn’t know what Occam’s razor is, but he certainly feels like the appearance of these creeping shadows throughout Kenos is unlikely to be unrelated to the hungry force that seems to have swallowed up their worlds, and is now seeking the leftovers here.]

I know others have had concerning visions as well. Those who were dissipated during the last trial reported a dream where that vast, hungry blackness was stalking them: following them through the cosmos, like a hound with a scent.

[As though it was seeking them even here, at the very ends of existence.]

[ Matt pulls a face, a bit of nngh. That certainly sounds familiar. And of a piece with all the rest they've discussed so far. Matt probably has more to say that's smart and incisive--for instance, that there are some malign creatures who require invitation before they can enter--but at the moment, the reply that swells up is a little less polished. ]

Liem, this is so bad. [ Even after hearing all these terrible things, there's a hint of wonder in his tone. Like isn't it wild that the two of them should be in the same place at the same time to turn these portents over, both of them with cold cups of coffee? It's a miracle, in its way. ] How many people know about this? I feel like everything so far has been very slanted towards like, the Zenith and Meridian of it all, and I've gotta believe at least a few people would rather focus on this first.

[How much do other people know about this? It occurs to Liem that, although some of this information should be well-known among other shard-bearers, and has probably found its way into the hands of the leadership, he very much doubts the citizenry at large have any idea about these portents. Would it be better if they did? Or would it just cause needless panic as the world around them grows steadily more hostile?]

That dream, at least, should be common knowledge among this generation’s shard-bearers, [he finally says.] It was shared publicly over communion. The rest… it likely varies.

[Some shard-bearers, like him, are keen to get their hands on any new scrap of information about the strangeness underpinning this war. But he knows that others feel either too ignorant, too helpless, or simply too single-minded to make the effort.]

One of the shard-bearers who is no longer here actually had a dream of a shadowy cabal controlling things from behind the scenes, before Aetós ever spoke to me of such a thing. That dream did seem to indicate that both Zenith and Meridian’s energies were necessary for… something. Perhaps simply in the same way that law and chaos must both exist, to oppose each other.

[This is one of the things that led Liem to pledge himself to Meridian over Zenith: the idea of creating a “perfect” world without chaos seemed preposterous to him.]

I heard this secondhand, though. Set might be able to tell you more.

[ Matt nods slowly, trying to figure out how to voice what he thinks is missing. A meta-analysis, of sorts? Laying all these dreams and portents and scraps of experience in a single place, for Bearers new and old to make sense of? Like, Liem just brought up his dream from the previous summer now, because of what they've been discussing. But if they hadn't been talking about it, would he have had any reason to remember? Between all the talk of tension, the Oracles and effigies, even that carnival thing Yuri mentioned, this place seems to abound with distractions.

(Matt makes another face at shadowy cabal as the words flow by. It's just ... never a phrase you want to hear.) ]

To oppose each other ... or to balance each other out, [ Matt considers. ] Which is kind of semantical. But I guess to think of it in the simplest, stupidest terms imaginable, as a guy who just landed here--

[ He smiles at Liem, a hint of sheepish good humor on his face. ]

They want us to fight. And to channel these energies to do it.

I know there are deities and things who are kind of locked in eternal opposition, but that's like, an explanation of the natural world. It's not so engineered. And in all the religious stories I've ever read, those entities know what they are.

[ They're not, say, battling for the promise of a distant carrot. ]

[Liem doesn’t consider Matt’s interpretation to be any more or any less informed than his own thoughts about these things, but at his suggestion, Liem can only shake his head at how in the dark they truly are.]

I don’t know what their intentions might be. But given what I’ve heard of this group, I don’t trust anything about them.

[But this has not stopped him from harmonizing increasingly deeper with Meridian. It is not the energy he distrusts, so much as whatever schemes this cabal has wrapped Kenos up in.]

They’ve covered their tracks well, though.

[ Matt agrees with Liem about Zenith and Meridian. Energies like these strike him as the lifeblood of the cosmos, and in that sense, they're incorruptible. It's all the architecture around them, all the backroom deals, that make him uneasy.

After a long moment, he breathes out. Whew! ]

Well. Thank you so much for all this. [ He looks to Liem's face, trying to peer into his eyes through dark lenses, and smiles. ] I know we've just met--or, you've just met this version of me--but if there's anything I can do to help, or if you get some other dream or portent that doesn't make sense--I wanna know.

[ He looks down for a moment, fingertip tracing the rim of his mug. ]

Everyone I've met here seems like they really wanna do the right thing. [ Terms and exclusions apply. ] And I'd just ... hate to see us stuck serving something else's agenda.

[Once again Liem has to attribute Matt’s sentiment to either not meeting many shard-bearers just yet, or being too softhearted to condemn any of them. He has a feeling it may be more the latter, given that he knows for a fact now that Matt has encountered Silco already. That man doesn’t give a single damn about what “the right thing” even is… and he is not the only shard-bearer with such feelings. Not even the only shard-bearer who knows Matt to feel that way.

But Liem didn’t meet with Matt to criticize his judgments, even if he does find them concerning.]

I will keep you in mind, Matthew.

[When he isn’t busy with one of the dozen other things that always end up cropping up to take his time.]

All we can do is keep our eyes open and address ourselves to what’s important, yes?

[ "I'll keep you in mind" sounds like what someone might tell him after a job interview he didn't land, but Matt can't blame Liem. Not after those depressing tidbits he shared about the world he and other-Matt experienced before. He'll just have to prove he can handle himself around here. That he can be trusted.

So he nods, squaring his shoulders slightly. Musters another smile. ]

That and take copious notes.

[ A quick shake of his head: joke. Though equally, Matt's being totally serious. He smiles to himself as he lifts his mug for another, tepid sip. ]

communion | stargazer-focused but ota

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