kenoscomm | ota;

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[ This isn't exactly something he does. Not on this scale, at least.

This communion's presence is akin to stepping off into the vacuum of space, cold and dark and empty. A void without feeling, submersed into nothingness — but deep enough there's also the faint pulse of a drowned, hurting heart. And even though it's coming from Amos, there's the sense of him curiously poking at it like an open wound.

It has been a couple of weeks since he killed Cyrus, a fact he has not bothered to hide. A couple of weeks since he has been forced to contend with the responsibility he bears for the deaths of innocents in Springstar, and so — ]

Hey.

[ When he speaks his voice is soft, and gentle, and something that could maybe even be called repentant. Or at least trying to be, the concept being a very, very, very new one for him. ]

So, I've been doing some thinking. There was this time I got caught up in a mass casualty event. Lady I knew then was a nurse, so she was doing what she could, because it had to be done. She also took the time to spend time with the dead. All of them, I think. I didn't really get it then, but I think maybe now...

[ He trails off, fumbling with his words. That pulse maybe grows a little stronger, and then he's back. ]

I dunno how feasible it is, but we should be collecting the names of everyone who died during all of this. When we make the new world — [ because there is no doubt in his mind that Zenith is going to succeed, and their new world will be made — ] we can build some kind of monument. Put everyone's names on it. Give people a space to take their moments with them, even if they ain't here anymore.

I know this don't exactly fix anything, but it's a start. I can keep track of the names. [ There's another pause, and when Amos speaks again, he's much more sure of himself. ] I won't forget them.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No.

[ At least, he doesn't think he does. Flat slips in so seamlessly that Amos barely registers his presence, his awareness only lifting at the words. The hollow curiosity is reciprocated, there's just that little something underneath still. ]

It had to be done. Doesn't mean we shouldn't do this after, though.

That's great! I was worried for a sec there.

[ worried about amos? or worried about something else entirely. ]

If it had to be done, then it had to be done. I don't agree with the methods, but as long as you're sure that you don't feel guilty about it, then that's that.

[ war is...stupidly complex, he realizes. unnecessarily so. ]

But then why are you suggesting this? Isn't remembering everyone a lot of unnecessary weight on your shoulders?

[ Okay, so... the kid had been a little too excitable when Amos had first met him, wanting to skip around Alenroux at night like some kind of death wish. This speed, though? It's one he feels right at home with. People can disagree with what happened, sure, but that's that. There's an ease that come with operating on the same level that's almost refreshing.

And now this is this. Amos pauses for a moment before answering, thinking it over. Does something in him feel heavier now? ... Maybe? He can't say for sure, Schrödinger's weight resting atop him. Or not. ]

I think it's something I have to do. [ A beat, cool and dark. ] Think it's something I'll adapt to. Like when you adjust to cold water, and it's not so cold anymore. So it makes sense to start now.

[ there is nothing from flat that has changed. at least, not from flat's perspective. the excitableness is just as much a part of him as it is the endless, empty expanse in his gaze as he continues staring at and through amos.

there is no judgement from the mage's behalf as the man continues talking. only an owlish gaze as he cocks his head to the side, smile still fixed to his face like as if it were sewn on. ]

That's the part I don't get. I don't get why you're putting yourself under cold water in the first place. Those that are dead are dead. I'd understand it if these people were close to you, but they're not even that. Who's asking you to do this?

[ because it doesn't seem to be a popular motion within the people replying to the communion. ]

[ Amos looks at Flat — feels him, through communion — and feels as though he could be looking into a mirror. He's older than Flat, of course; was nowhere near as excitable when he was his age (has never been that excitable). But there's still something distinctly recognizable about him, and a stray thought flits across Amos' mind (and, perhaps, inadvertently to Flat): That's bad. Contextless, but Amos knows what he went through to end up the way he did, and so he thinks that Flat must have gone through something horrific, too.

Which would be bad, because people don't deserve that.

And then he's back on task, because he can follow the way Flat thinks, and so it's easy to hold a conversation with him. ]

Nobody's asking me to do this. It just feels like the right thing to do, to me. Like I should be doing this.

[ A pause. And then, because he thinks he and Flat will understand each other, a continuation. ]

I think it's something Yima wants. So I'll do it.

[ Like she wanted him to kill Cyrus, and now this. Who would he even be to say no? The thought has never so much as crossed his mind. ]

[ in that moment, everything seems to click together for flat. he needs no further explanation about amos' motivatoin. if he wanted to, he could end the communion right now, and consider his question answered. why is amos doing this? because he wants to do what he thinks yima would want.

it's hardly any different from what made flat choose meridian over zenith— it's what his professor would have done. maybe on a different level from "kickstarting a massacre via political assassination", but similar enough to get the gist of it.

flat sees no point in dissuading him. it'd be like telling the birds not to sing or dogs not to bark. but he is still curious. he is always, always curious. ]

Sorry, I think I need to make this a bit more private, just in case. [ he'd rather protect his and amos' minds from any pesky onlookers, whoever they might be. the communion shifts, emphasizing just how alone they are. and yet, flat feels at home in this loneliness. ]

Why would she want this, then? [ once again back to the same question: what's the point in mourning the dead when you ordered the hit in the first place? ] Does she regret it?

That's okay. [ Amos is agreeable to Flat's taking this private, the walls of the void enclosing just the two of them into something empty, and shared. He's blankly pleasant as it happens, content to just go with the flow here. It's only talking, after all; there isn't much else either of them can do.

And while Savants have pissed him off in the past, Flat feels so familiar that Amos remains perfectly content to answer whatever he throws at him. ]

I don't think she regrets it, no. We need Zenith to win. This was just a part of that.

And I don't think Yima wants a memorial or anything. I don't think she'd mind one, just... it's not a priority for her. More that this is who she wants me to be, and I want to be a better person. I want to be that for her. So I'll do it. Does that make sense?

[ Because Amos isn't entirely certain about this either, operating off of unfamiliar instinct only — and a lot of the other receptions he's getting are not helping, even if he won't be dissuaded. ]

Aha! Sorry for the misunderstanding, then. Now I think I get it.

[ flat claps his hands together, the usual brand of cheer that's attached to flat escardos still noticeable in the communion. perhaps it's here where amos can see best the idiosyncrasy that is "flat escardos". though his jovial nature and even his apology all come without a shred of deceit or falsehood, the hollowness behind it is ever present.

he's silent for a few seconds, staring ahead. yeah, he thinks he gets it too, deep down. when your sky is void of light, having someone else as your north star is like a saving grace. ]

I guess I can't really help you out then. [ a pause. ] But not because I don't like the plan. Well, I did think it was inefficient, but if it helps you out in the long run, then maybe it won't be that bad if you guys win. [ but with a small tilt of his head and slightly lonely smile, he adds: ] It's just that I don't have any names to give you in the first place.

[ because he never bothered to look. ]

[ He feels — recognizes — that hollowness. Amos' go-to is usually an empty, meaningless smile, like it's something he thinks people want to see and he's content to smile it both. Flat just has a different dispositional shell, is all. Over top of the nothing.

He would think — it feels bad, to know someone else like him is out there. But Amos has made do just fine with the nothing in him, and it looks like Flat has as well. So. Is it really that bad?

Yes, and no.

Amos smiles at him. ]

I get it. This is new for me, too.

[ He doesn't mind. This is just the way they are, and that's okay. Amos is working on overcoming that, but he never thought he'd be able to. It makes sense if Flat stays the same, because that's where he thought he'd always be, and he's still managed a good life, even with that. ]

Let me know if you overhear any?

Oh...sure! I don't mind.

[ flat returns amos' smile with one of his own, along with an enthusiastic bob of his head. he didn't expect the other to still ask that favor of him, and it takes him by slight surprise. it's a pleasant surprise, however, and his agreement is genuine. ]

We might be on different sides, but that doesn't mean we can't help each other out, right?

[ does he know how silly he sounds, saying this to the man that killed meridian's leader? most likely not. it might not even have even remotely registered on his radar. ]

You'll be okay, right? Tough crowd and all.

[ Their first meeting may have completely thrown Amos, but here, in this expanse of the nothingness but themselves? Where Flat is still enthusiastic and chipper over the broken? He really likes him, he thinks.

And just as Flat doesn't perceive how silly he sounds — neither does Amos. They are operating on the same, straightforward level, and Amos' smile maybe grows a little more genuine for it. ]

Yeah, I'll be alright. Not the first time I've dealt with a tough crowd. Probably won't be the last, either.

[ Because for all of his apparent delusions, he's realistic about knowing he's the outsider. Just... now he's got someone to be an outsider with, it would seem. ]

Thank you. And yeah, you ever need a favour, don't hesitate to ask. I don't mind helping a friend out.

[ Well, unless it would hurt Zenith in some way, but that's just common sense. He doesn't need to say that.

Maybe didn't need to say Flat was a friend either, but he's an Exalt. Kind of ingrained in him. ]

[ friends.

the word makes flat pause, blue eyes wide as plates as he hears that word. though it's a word that he throws around fairly often, he rarely hears it directed towards him so straightforwardly and especially unprompted. that's usually his job, after all. pushing the concept of friendship unto others until they have no choice but to reluctantly accept it.

so maybe amos did need to say it out loud. so that flat could also have the reassurance that he didn't know he even needed in the first place. ]

[ it's nice to hear it, that's all there is.

he smiles back, giving the man an enthusiastic nod without a care in the world for alliances and all that other riffraff. ]

Yeah! Same here!

[ sure, he knows that they're still technically opponents. he knows that he might never convince this man to switch sides, and he doesn't want to. if amos feels comfortable with the life that he's living, then flat's more than happy to accept that— as his friend. ]

Alright, sir, have a good day!

[ and with a final chirp, he blinks out of the space as he ends the communion on his end. he leaves as smoothly and as quickly as he came in, leaving not a single bit of his presence remaining. as if he were never there in the first place. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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