ota;

[baltimores]

[ This isn't exactly something he does. Not on this scale, at least.

This communion's presence is akin to stepping off into the vacuum of space, cold and dark and empty. A void without feeling, submersed into nothingness — but deep enough there's also the faint pulse of a drowned, hurting heart. And even though it's coming from Amos, there's the sense of him curiously poking at it like an open wound.

It has been a couple of weeks since he killed Cyrus, a fact he has not bothered to hide. A couple of weeks since he has been forced to contend with the responsibility he bears for the deaths of innocents in Springstar, and so — ]

Hey.

[ When he speaks his voice is soft, and gentle, and something that could maybe even be called repentant. Or at least trying to be, the concept being a very, very, very new one for him. ]

So, I've been doing some thinking. There was this time I got caught up in a mass casualty event. Lady I knew then was a nurse, so she was doing what she could, because it had to be done. She also took the time to spend time with the dead. All of them, I think. I didn't really get it then, but I think maybe now...

[ He trails off, fumbling with his words. That pulse maybe grows a little stronger, and then he's back. ]

I dunno how feasible it is, but we should be collecting the names of everyone who died during all of this. When we make the new world — [ because there is no doubt in his mind that Zenith is going to succeed, and their new world will be made — ] we can build some kind of monument. Put everyone's names on it. Give people a space to take their moments with them, even if they ain't here anymore.

I know this don't exactly fix anything, but it's a start. I can keep track of the names. [ There's another pause, and when Amos speaks again, he's much more sure of himself. ] I won't forget them.

Comments

[a_noble_flame]

[In most things Alice wishes to be neutral. From Emperor to civilian all are equal in the eyes of her justice. Typically. Usually. Life has been pressing at her though and chipping away at the rock she's placed firmly over her feelings

The warmth of her communion is near snuffed out by this cold. Flames forever follow at her heels though and in the end they burn a little hotter in the moment. Anger and sadness all too often are mixed together for her and though she is so new here, unharmonized when Cyrus died and never knowing the man beyond that last sad speech ...

Her shoulders sag some. It's just ... such a waste in the end, for everyone. A cold space with a wounded heart and so many more wounded hearts beyond.]

This is your justice for them then?

[baltimores]

[ Her feelings are baffling to him — not unpleasant, just thoroughly foreign from the way he knows the world to work. The flames of passion and caring not something he can ever recall experiencing for himself (certainly not the way Alice feels it); the sense of waste met with acceptance, like, yeah. That's life.

He is maybe trying to make it not life anymore? He isn't sure. ]

I... don't know. Maybe? [ Amos' uncertainty is genuine, at least. ] Gotta be honest, I'm not exactly from somewhere where justice applies. I was more thinking that... that this was the right thing to do.

[ Is that what justice is?? He has no idea. ]

[a_noble_flame]

Yes, I would call that your justice then.

[The fact that he was in large part the one to cause the need for such a monument isn't brought up. Instead Alice thinks a moment.]

I'm very new and unfamiliar with Springstar as a whole. I will assist where I can in gathering names however.

[And she will likely remember them alongside of him. Another apology for arriving much too late to be of true help.]

[baltimores]

Thank you.

[ Cool void aside his voice is soft and sincere; honest. He doesn't note that she doesn't bring up his much bigger part in all of this, the fact fleeting from his mind. It's a problem he usually experiences, that need to be reminded to not do things like this, to not treat people as disposable (preferably while they are still alive) — and one that he still needs to come to terms with.

What he's thinking about now is that Alice seems like a good person, accepting of his attempts to do something good here. That she cares — about justice, but about anything, really — warms her to him fairly quickly, the idea that she is someone important, because the world needs people like her.

With his mind leaping to that conclusion, the followup is only natural: ] Are you doing okay?

[ Especially since she's new and unfamiliar... He doesn't know when she arrived, just that it was maybe at a bad time, and that he'll feel a bit bad about. ]

[a_noble_flame]

[The warmth she brings with her through her communion grows some. In the cool of Amos' void she's like a campfire waiting for people to gather around it. "Rest," it says, even as the flames on her heels gutter against Amos' question.]

I'm fine, thank you. I appreciate the concern.

[She'd like to ask if he was too but she can well imagine how he is. The fact that he doesn't show any real glee over what he's done sends an old familiar pang through her heart, the same that haunts her when she thinks of the Corporal.]

Those who suffer are the civilians, not I. I won't lecture you on that however -- you know it all too well.

[There's some confidence to her voice there, mellow but still present. He's acknowledging them after all.]

[baltimores]

[ Though he much prefers the cool of Zenith these days, the sensation of a campfire is comfortable. He would rest, if there wasn't still so much to do.

Still, he does ease some as she confirms she's okay. Her confidence, though... it makes him duck his head, almost as if he's embarrassed. Maybe shamed, if he knew how to place that sensation properly. ]

I... don't know it at all, actually. I'm trying to be better about it, but it's something I've gotta be reminded of. [ His voice is quiet, honest. ] I think that now, with Zenith, I'll be better. I gotta take this on, after all.

[ He pauses, and after a moment — as if he's taking a cue from her, voice more confident: ] I'll be better.

[ Whether he will be is what remains to be scene — but in communion, there's no denying the want. As difficult as it is for him, he does want to be better, more than just about anything. ]

[a_noble_flame]

[... Frankly Alice isn't sure what to make of the Zenith side. She lacks the context that she had with the Anti-Area, the Pelion princess, District Zero and all the rest of the stories from her own world. She knew that land, those people, the histories -- her grandfather had told her the stories after all. He had spoken of his triumphs in the field and his failures, the things he mourned doing and those that he didn't do.

It's clear though that Amos takes his position in Zenith with some burden. His voice is confident as he says he'll do better and her own communion pulses like a heartbeat with his declaration and his want for it. The tone of her voice is warm as well, accepting.]

Then I believe in you.

[She doesn't believe in what he did, no. Some might view it a 'necessary evil' but there was no necessity to it much like the broken bodies left behind in the wake of terrorist attacks in her own world. There was nothing necessary about those deaths.]

[baltimores]

[ He feels relief.

He doesn't know Alice at all; never knew of her presence here until this moment, and therefore hasn't so much as even looked at her in person. But there is a part of him that is intrinsically drawn to people like her, and for her to believe him even after all of the pain he's caused is relieving.

He needs to help win this war for Zenith; he also needs to be better in the future. He can do both. Amos isn't sure how yet, but knows he can do both.

So, once again, ] Thank you.

[ And, almost as if it were an afterthought: ] I know I ain't exactly going to come across as reliable right now. But if there's anything you need help with? I'll try to do what I can.

[ Because Alice strikes him as the kind of person that he can trust with that. No, he wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize Zenith — but anything else? If she thought it needed to be done? Then yeah, it'd probably be the kind of thing he should help out with, so he would. ]