kenoscomm | ota;

[ This isn't exactly something he does. Not on this scale, at least.

This communion's presence is akin to stepping off into the vacuum of space, cold and dark and empty. A void without feeling, submersed into nothingness — but deep enough there's also the faint pulse of a drowned, hurting heart. And even though it's coming from Amos, there's the sense of him curiously poking at it like an open wound.

It has been a couple of weeks since he killed Cyrus, a fact he has not bothered to hide. A couple of weeks since he has been forced to contend with the responsibility he bears for the deaths of innocents in Springstar, and so — ]

Hey.

[ When he speaks his voice is soft, and gentle, and something that could maybe even be called repentant. Or at least trying to be, the concept being a very, very, very new one for him. ]

So, I've been doing some thinking. There was this time I got caught up in a mass casualty event. Lady I knew then was a nurse, so she was doing what she could, because it had to be done. She also took the time to spend time with the dead. All of them, I think. I didn't really get it then, but I think maybe now...

[ He trails off, fumbling with his words. That pulse maybe grows a little stronger, and then he's back. ]

I dunno how feasible it is, but we should be collecting the names of everyone who died during all of this. When we make the new world — [ because there is no doubt in his mind that Zenith is going to succeed, and their new world will be made — ] we can build some kind of monument. Put everyone's names on it. Give people a space to take their moments with them, even if they ain't here anymore.

I know this don't exactly fix anything, but it's a start. I can keep track of the names. [ There's another pause, and when Amos speaks again, he's much more sure of himself. ] I won't forget them.

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I'm making a place for it. Think it's my job to. Making a space for people if they need it, even after everything.

[ About that much, Amos is mostly confident. There's something of a waver, but his speech is resolute: whatever doubts he has now, he's going to get over. Going to see to it that this is fulfilled. ]

I'm not gonna suffer from anything, either. I'm not gonna be buried. But if you meant for other people, then...

[ And here his confidence begins to fade, drifting into the realm of the unknown. ]

This is new to me. All I can do is try. If people don't like that then I get it, but... I'll have it figured out eventually. And when I do, we'll all be better off for it. It'll be okay.

[...

He doesn't like it, but he doesn't know the right answer either. After all, he is not Meridian, but he saw how they suffered. He is not Zenith, but he saw the results that hurt them too. It isn't his place to make judgment, but it prickles under his skin, makes him uncomfortable, and he doesn't know how to deal with that.]

Then do you plan to continue to hurt others for your goal, even if it is at the cost of their life?

... It's not like I want to hurt anyone.

[ He speaks quietly, certain of that much. He feels Hiiro's discomfort, and it bleeds into his own. Normally Amos is just fine with tough subject matter, but because of who he's talking to, it's suddenly much more difficult to deal with.

Not like he's got a choice. So. ]

It isn't something you plan for. More like... if it happens it happens, you know? That's what life is. People get hurt. People die. [ If it sounds like he's speaking from experience, then that's because he is. This is the way the world works. ] Fighting against that's like fighting against having to breathe. Some things you just gotta go with.

Just that this time what's at the end will help everyone.

I wonder.

[Will it save everyone? Something tells him no, but he doesn't have a reason to believe it or not. It's frustrating.]

If this goes on, it is best to let the people mourn their own people and vice versa. A war will only mean your monument will have to keep changing.

I ain't saying people can't mourn right now. This is just something for after. Monument should be pretty fixed in place by then, I think. Since it'll be over.

[ He takes a second's pause, thinking it over. ]

Probably have something else for people who die after the war. But with things as they are right now... I mean, in the new world people'll have their bodies to look after, and probably some sentimental stuff too. In war we're not really going to have the chance for all of that, let alone when we dimension hop or however it's gonna work. So I figured a monument would be the best way to solve that. Make up for the present shortcomings, y'know?

But not like I'm an expert here. [ Yet, he hopes. ] I'm not turning away anyone's ideas, if you got any.

[Well... He does feel bad since he was coming out here bristling, when this person seems so sincere to do something nice. Maybe Hiiro's just too gullible for his own good, but he can't help but think perhaps his own reaction was too hasty.

What can he do though? He still doesn't like the idea of the monument given what is happening but...]

Why not pray for their souls to find peace? Perhaps it is not so permanent, but restless spirits can turn vengeful and curse you, or so I have been told.

[ Hiiro wouldn't be the first person Amos has inadvertently disarmed — it turns out there's only so much you can do when you're talking to a guy who doesn't take offence to much, even when he's called out for committing atrocities.

Either way, he doesn't notice anything amiss. Just content to talk things out. ]

... I think we could do that too. [ He hadn't quite been thinking about prayer, but if Hiiro is... if others might be... it's probably not a bad idea. ] I dunno about curses or anything, but if it's the kind of thing that'll make people feel better... the dead, and the living.

I think Springstar might have a thing for that. [ Or at least, Set had indicated they had. ] I can figure one out for Highstorm... It's a good thought. Good idea to do that. Thank you.

[ While he's still stumbling through trying to figure out how to make all of this work, he's appreciative of any suggestions others have coming his way. The thanks is entirely sincere. ]

Umu. Will you be all right?

[He doesn't have much to add to this, sadly, so he's probably cutting this off early.]

Even though it is inevitable in conflict to have losses... I hope that it does not make you lose sight of what is truly important.

Yeah, I'm fine. [ That part comes easily enough; Amos isn't going to have any problems with this, as far as he can tell.

But everything that comes after... ]

I know what's important. [ Zenith, and making the new world. That part's instinctual to him, but he knows that isn't exactly what Hiiro is referring to, so... he takes a second. ] I know something like this can't happen again.

[ ... But also that it might. As sincere as he is in this moment, he also has a bad track record of slipping up without meaning to. ]

... I think we'll get there. [ Which really could mean anything, but. He's trying. Whether that actually means something remains to be seen, but that's about as far as his limits extend, and it's just what he has to work with.

Though there's the sense that he hopes Hiiro will be alright, too. ]

ota;

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