kenoscomm | communion | stargazer-focused but ota

[ Ah. Here it is.

Ever since he started running into people who knew some other version of him, Matt's been waiting to disappoint them--either by not being that other person, or because of something that person had done. In this case, the sense of disappointment comes not through anything Liem says, or any emotions Matt can grok through their connection, but through the long pause. The absence of warmth. Amos had been so reassuring, right away; Sebastian didn't miss a beat; Silco ... hated him, evidently, but Matt feels confident calling him an outlier even at this early stage of their acquaintance. With so little to read in Liem's reaction, Matt's insecurities fill in the gaps.

That does come across, unfortunately. Matt's spent years holding in feelings around the dinner table, but in his own mind, he already is in. Still, he sounds gentle when he answers: ]

I'm sorry. I don't.

[ A beat later, he recognizes his own emotions, and breathes: slow, even, steady. He doesn't relax as easily as he might under less stressful circumstances, but some of the nerves fade from his psychic presence. ]

I don't think I am that person that you all knew. I mean, I guess there's a chance I've been floating through the cosmos with amnesia, but otherwise--it's my first time.

[Liem has to wonder—should he even be relieved about this? Does it make sense to feel relief that this version of Matt never had to endure what he went through in Horos, when that other version of him still unquestionably did? He doesn’t know. It’s probably a good thing for this Matt, though, even if it makes Liem feel a little out to sea to realize he doesn’t know who he is.

But, he supposes he can start simple.]

Then… welcome. And I’m sorry for your loss.

[ A pause, filled with a psychic sigh: the impression of almost tropical regret. Warm and cold air currents mingling to an uncertain conclusion. ]

Thank you.

Although ... I suppose there's the potential that it doesn't have to stay a loss, right?

[ Sort of reassuring. But sort of not. Matt wonders if a clean, certain grief would be easier to deal with on some level. ]

Yes—you can return there, if we succeed.

[There’s no hesitation in this reply, at least. Even if Liem feels like he understands less and less what the conclusion of Kenos’s war will look like as he stays here, the one thing he has become more confident in over time (and as he’s harmonized further with Meridian) is that their worlds can be saved, somehow.]

But not until we manage to reach a resolution to this conflict. So until then, we all must contend with the absence in our own way.

[It seems strange to hear Matt voice even that hesitant, noncommittal optimism. Right from the first moment Liem had known him in Horos, he had always seemed so certain that there was no possible way back; only forward, leaving the ashes of all their worlds behind. But he attributes that to the Regent’s influence now, more than anything else.]

Have you been here long? You’re not still at the Tree, are you?

[ From "we," Matt parses "Meridian," which is sort of weird. From what Amos said, he'd picked the Zenith end of things last time he'd been presented with a choice like this. And now that he thinks on it, everyone who's recognized him seems to have pledged for Zenith.

Matt replies first with a vague affirmation, halfway between yeah and the kind of pleasant hum he might make in person. Then he laughs, surprised. ]

Oh God, no. I mean, I love that Tree, but--not much there by way of ... things. Dug myself out a few days ago, and people helped me find my way to the islands. [ A slight pause. As he always is, Matt's wildly curious to know how other-him knew this guy. But he feels he should proceed with caution. ] I'd love to pick your brain a little, if you don't mind. Everyone who's been willing to share their perspective with me has been enlightening.

[The fact that Matt has evidently met multiple people from Horos who’d known him, and that most (if not all) of these people are now likely in Zenith, does not escape Liem. He doesn’t have to think very hard to guess what kind of “perspectives” they might have been sharing with him, which makes unease snake and coil through him. Like the rest of his stray feelings, however, this one stays shut up tight where only he (or another Harbinger) might know of it.]

Of course.

[Those moth wings give a little shiver.]

Have you seen much of Springstar yet? If you like, I could show you around a little more. And—I can introduce myself.

[ Matt notes the frisson, though he isn't sure what it means. In contrast, his own emotions shine clearly through the connection: hope and gratitude, both warm-glowing things. If there's a color that accompanies it, it's the golden gleam of his magic, though Matt hasn't been able to cast a single, solitary spell since he got here. ]

Not as much as I want to, for sure, so that'd be great.

Give me a little while to get over there?

[ From Highstorm, it's a bit of a trek. ]

[Nooooo Matt, not Highstorm! Why are you hanging out there… it’s cold! Liem takes this as tacit confirmation that he’s been shown around mostly by Zenites, and takes it as his duty to ensure Matt isn’t corrupted by dark influences immediately upon arrival. Especially because he knows the people in Highstorm are likely to paint Meridian’s cause as misguided at best and hopelessly deluded at worst.

Taking a moment to consider where in Springstar Matt is most likely to already have visited (and therefore which cornerstones he’d already have on his mental map), he quickly makes a decision.]

I’ll meet you at the cornerstone nearest Heliopolis, then. I’ll be wearing black.

[ Amos lives in Highstorm and Amos is his friend! Apparently!!!

Matt takes in these directions with a shimmer of amusement. ]

And I ... will be familiar to you visually, I assume. [ He hopes not many people around Heliopolis choose a monochrome look. But given Springstar's general vibe, maybe dressing in black actually is a differentiator. ] If I get lost, I'll shout into your mind.

[ On that slightly teasing note, the connection drops off.

Liem's picked a great spot, Matt realizes with gratitude. The bulk of the time he's spent in Springstar has been in this area. That makes it one of the easier places on the islands for him to visualize, and thus, to appear in. So enter Matt and his robe with a keyhole in it, lingering around the cornerstone. One more small mercy: staying on alert for "dudes or dude-like people dressed in black" serves as a neat distraction from his anxieties, both universe-sized and interpersonal. ]

[Black is indeed a differentiator when it comes to Springstar fashion, especially given that the already-warm, sunny city is in the middle of its summer season. Liem cuts a bit of a shadowy figure in trim black and what looks like a little cape, matching wide-brimmed hat, and round-lensed sunglasses. Apparently, black in this instance is a style choice rather than simply an allergy to colours.

Also quite notably, especially as Liem draws closer, Matt might realize that although both suns are out and shining brightly—their rays don’t seem to fully touch him. He looks a little dimmed, as though cast in gentle shadow, even though there are very few shadows to be seen in the vicinity.]

Matt. Hello.

[He hadn’t been expecting to see him in… a robe. Only the fact that Matt was standing there like a tourist, obviously looking for someone, helped Liem realize that this was the person he was looking for. Now that he’s found him, he gives him a quick once-over from behind his sunglasses, but only for the briefest of moments.

He looks a little different besides, he thinks—and not just because he has both his hands. Though he certainly takes note of that before extending his hand in greeting.]

I’m Liem Talbott. It’s… nice to meet you.

[ Matt turns around, taking in what appears to him to be another perfect stranger. A guy of about his height, sharply dressed in hat and sunglasses and--is that a bolero? Whatever it is, it's got nice embroidery. It's only after a moment that he realizes the quality of the light around him is a little different. Or maybe he's perceiving a color he's not sure how to identify?

(The narration is sad to report that Matt feels like his robe 'fit is one of his sartorial triumphs. It's comfortable, it flows nicely, it cinches to fit his body but also has built-in ventilation ... what's not to like?)

One part of this is easy, at least: Matt steps forward to shake Liem's hand. ]

Liem Talbott. Right back at you. [ Liem's fingers are cool in his, Matt notices as he lets him go. He peers into the other man's thoroughly shaded face--glasses, hat, localized dim--trying to figure out how much, if anything, he should read into that pause. After a moment, he concludes he has no idea and huffs a soft laugh. ] Okay, I know you know this, but I've never done it, so--hi. I'm Matthew Harcourt Jamison.

[ No fucking way other him told anyone his middle name. ]

[Interest passes lightly over Liem’s face when Matt introduces himself. This, certainly, had not been his experience when he’d first encountered Matt, damp and naked after crawling from his chrysalis inside the Champion shrine. Understandably, a full-name introduction had not been in order at that point, and afterwards… well, it just hadn’t come up.]

Matthew, [he repeats, tilting his head slightly. His accent turns the th sound into a double-t. It’s quite a reasonable assumption that perhaps Liem has never known anyone with that name before, and never thought to assume that “Matt” was short for anything.

Oh, yes, and he didn’t know his middle name was Harcourt, either.]

Charmed. I assume you’ve had the chance to explore Heliopolis already.

[He glances in the direction of the complex—at the government buildings, the church, the towering sacred tree.]

Have you seen much else?

[ The enunciation of his name on Liem's lips surprises him. He likes the sound of it--enough that he doesn't swoop in with his usual call me Matt. That's how Liem had first addressed him, so maybe a little differentiation will be a good thing. Let them start with a blank slate, like he'd offered Amos.

Blank slate is easy for him to say, of course. ]

Ah ... mainly the disreputable parts, [ he admits. The player has no idea what will have happened with Matt and Tezca in Kowloon, but "disreputable" is probably a safe characterization. ] Whatever you like about Springstar, I'd be interested in seeing that. [ A quick smile. ] Or any place that has coffee and books.

[Liem’s eyebrow lifts a little, amused, for “the disreputable parts,” but he doesn’t object at all to the chance to show Matt some of Springstar’s nicer places. In a way, this just makes his task easier.]

I can do that.

[He draws nearer, gesturing back over to the cornerstone Matt arrived by.]

Let’s take a shortcut, shall we?

[Springstar is far too large to simply walk the whole way in a timely manner, after all. Besides, it would be good for Matt to learn the locations of more of the cornerstones around the various districts.

When Liem nears the stone, he’ll place a hand on it, gesturing for Matt to join him and touch it as well. Only once he has will Liem summon the appropriate destination to mind, and whisk them both away from the city centre, into part of Springstar’s academic district.]

Okay. Let's. [ Back to the cornerstone it is. Matt appreciates the practice--he figures this is like tourism in a foreign country, quite literally, and the best path to fluency is immersion. They place their hands on the stone, and in the space of a whoosh of breath--

They're somewhere else.

Matt steps back, taking in the new sights. A large, triangular building catches his attention, first for its size and shape and then its golden filigree. Though not every sight is new; as he looks around, he can make out the Seat of the Tribune, further now than it was a moment ago. That's interesting. Matt's body doesn't seem to process teleportation as meaningfully different from standing in place, but the change in distance of a familiar landmark feels concrete to him. ]

[It feels strange to look over at Matt, to see him again after more than a year of absence, and to essentially be looking at a stranger. Or rather, to be looking at a person he’d thought back on tenderly on multiple occasions, and who knows absolutely nothing about him. He feels like he should tell Matt how they knew each other, and the kind of relationship they’d had—but maybe that would be an unwelcome strangeness for him. He doesn’t know how to broach the subject without bringing up something Matt might not want to think about.

Well… At least they’ve arrived at their destination.]

This is the Akadimaïkós District, [he says, gesturing around at the buildings flowing out from the plaza they’ve arrived at. The surroundings range from humble cafes and museums crammed into shoebox buildings to the grand, gold-etched building sat prominently before them. Turning toward it, he rests a hand lightly at the small of Matt’s back for just a moment as he starts taking them both toward it. The touch is there and gone, like the brush of wings had been in communion.] Springstar’s centre of learning and information.

It has coffee and books, of course, but aside from Heliopolis, it is also one of the best places for newcomers to find resources. The libraries and community centres are mostly found here.

[ Matt's gaze has caught on one of those tiny museums. Its neighboring cafe seems to be adjoining, or at least thematically linked. He makes a mental note to visit later. He may be in a far-flung corner of the universe, worlds away from anything he's ever known, but he flatters himself that his sense for interesting local spots is as strong as ever.

Then comes the touch. Brief, light, both surprising and not. Surprising because he's been getting a vibe from Liem of genteel self-containment, and he doesn't associate that with casual physical contact; not, because it feels similar to Liem's presence through Communion. And because a piece of Matt is always waiting to connect with someone else. His pleasure at the gesture manifests as a gentle, immediate assent to the speed and direction Liem's coaxing them in. ]

Libraries, [ Matt enthuses. ] Okay, I like the sound of this. I've heard some of the resources that seem like they'd be most relevant to our situation are kind of thin on the ground, but do you know of anything you think would be helpful for a newbie?

[It is not Liem’s habit, generally speaking, for his association with people he’s just met—or even those he’s decently familiar with—to involve casual touches. There is unquestionably a probing element to his interactions with Matt—Matthew—as he tries to suss out where his boundaries lie now, as a newcomer and a stranger he’s only just met. As he does, one thing he remembers and keeps in mind is that Matt has never seemed especially fond of formality.]

You mean information? [Those kinds of “resources?”] I suppose that’s correct. Kenos’s people love their libraries, but there is little to be found anywhere that sheds much light on this world’s origins or the conflict surrounding it.

[He guides them over to the Community Centre as he speaks, opening the door when they reach it and holding it so Matt can precede him. The inside is not quite as breathtaking as the outer facade, but the foyer is still airy and spacious, lit as most Springstar buildings are by large windows that let in the eternal sunshine outside.]

This place helped me considerably when I was trying to find my feet here. I didn’t harmonize for several weeks, so funds eventually became an issue. I started teaching classes here extra pocket money, but it’s a good way to meet people, too. Barter culture is prominent in Springstar, so you can trade favours directly if you don’t have money.

[ Matt nods encouragingly at "information"--yes, that's absolutely what he wants--and pulls a rueful face when Liem confirms there's not a lot of material on Kenos' origins and conflict. He's expecting it, but it's still no fun.

For his part, he sticks close by Liem as they walk, unburdened by anything but conjecture and anxiety. Maybe he's a touch closer now than he was a few minutes ago, skimming pleasantly by him as he holds open the door. ]

Oh--that's great to know. [ Another rueful expression, though this one has a hint of genuine pain behind it. ] From what I understand, I can't barter with the one thing I'm really good at right now, but I could probably come up with something. What classes did you teach?

[The pain hiding behind Matt’s expression makes Liem frown just a little, a slight crumpling of his brow.]

You’d be surprised what people value here, [he says with gentle confidence.] Springstar locals are endlessly interested in relics from the worlds we left behind—crafts, customs, information, no matter how mundane. Case in point: I teach cooking classes, and I am not particularly gifted in the kitchen.

[He’s not bad or anything, but he’s no professional. He’s just a man who enjoys cooking as a hobby, and wanted to share some recipes from home with other people.

As they make their way deeper into the building, they pass what seems to be an information desk, where a verdant, leafy-looking woman is lightly occupied with paperwork. She looks up with a smile as they pass, lofting a wave and a ”Hello, Liem!” their way. He returns the greeting with familiarity (apparently, her name is Gloria) and ushers them on.]

But it depends on how quickly you harmonize, of course. If you choose quickly, while you still have access to the new arrival’s stipend and free room and board, of course you won’t need to worry about pocket money. I assume you’ve been put up in Highstorm?

Cooking classes. [ Matt seems to find the idea amusing, as well as promising--he takes the point that you don't have to be an expert to get paid for your efforts. Still, he can't help a bit of self-effacing whimsy. ] Maybe I can astound the locals with tales of two-minute noodles.

[ He manages not to stare at Gloria, which is frankly a monumental achievement. She's so pretty. He just smiles as she and Liem greet each other, his gaze catching on the edge of one of her leaves. ]

Oh, ah, yeah, [ he answers, glancing back to Liem. A lopsided smile. ] You aren't the only one here I used to know, apparently. People've been really nice to me, even after they realize I don't recognize any of them.

[ Some people have also been Silco, but, you know. ]

Oh? [Liem’s tone is a little wry.] I’m happy to hear it. I can think of a couple Zenites in particular from Horos who couldn’t in any honesty be described as nice.

[If Matt hasn’t run into Silco or Gen yet, though, that’s probably for the best. He doesn’t need to deal with mean Zenite (pocket size) and mean Zenite (full size) when he’s only just arrived.

The route he takes them on through the Community Centre is brisk, allowing for glimpses of different facilities and in-session classes as they tour the layout of the building, but no real opportunity to stop for more than a few moments. He didn’t bring Matt here to try to sign him up for something here and now; just to familiarize him with the space, for if he wants to come back later.]

Did you have any questions about that…? It must be strange, meeting complete strangers who feel like they already know you.

[ That tone gets Matt laughing in surprise. ]

One of those wouldn't be Mr. Silco, would it?

[ Educated guess, but he has to imagine there's only so many mean Zenites who also came here from a place called Horos. And he has no idea about Gen yet, so that narrows it down.

Matt trips along happily enough with Liem, taking inventory of the classrooms and what he can glean of the various activities transpiring within. He appreciates dedication to learning, to improving oneself--even beyond his bias as an academic. Something about it feels hopeful. Future-focused.

At Liem's invitation, Matt's gaze slides to him. He tries to assess what he might be thinking behind the dark glasses, but it feels like divining from cast stones. More projection than exegesis. Still, the line of his mouth appears gentle enough. ]

I'm sure I have more questions about this whole thing than I realize, [ Matt says. ] But for now, I guess ...

Are you okay? Or, um, are we? [ He tries to keep his tone light. No big deal. ] I've already apologized for some things the other me did, I have no problem doing it again.

Ah, so you have met him.

[Liem’s lips twitch a little in response to Matt’s laughing reply. Yes, who could he mean other than Zenith’s number one hater? Aside from its number two hater, that is. (This is a slightly uncharitable way to describe Gen, even in thought, but in fairness he has been very difficult to Liem specifically.)

The hint of a smile fades from his mouth, however, when Matt asks his question. Above the dark lenses of his glasses, his brows first lift, then furrow slightly.]

We’re fine, Matthew.

[Perhaps he’d feel more complicated about this if he could recall the evening Matt invited him to that seedy club, got him drunk, and asked Liem to drink his blood… but he doesn’t. All he recalls is how hopeless Matt had seemed the very first time he’d met him, and how he only seemed to get worse the longer they remained in Horos.]

I’m only… a little concerned, perhaps. [He turns them past the building’s public pool, heading up a corridor that loops back towards the main exit.] The version of you that ended up in Horos wasn’t doing well. That’s not an indictment; neither was I. [Liem grimaces slightly, mouth thinning.] It was a bad place. But… in some ways, I don’t know that this one is much better.

[For you, is what he means.]

[ Whatever Matt was bracing himself for, it wasn't that. He was thinking he must have done something wrong, or weird--had an unrequited crush, maybe? Said something stupid or offensive? His eyebrows climb, a look of pure surprise on his face. ]

You're worried about me.

[ There's a sliver of a teasing tone in there. The self-deprecation Matt can sometimes wield when discussing something serious, a sort of compromise between his reserved WASPy upbringing and his own personal desire for the truth. Still, he can't help thinking of what Sebastian said before, about how the version of him he knew before was missing a hand. He thinks of Amos saying, shit, I missed you, brother.

Maybe there's a good reason for someone to be worried about him. It's not like he's finding this an easy place to navigate. ]

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