kenotebook post | ota | tl;dr

[semicharmed]

[ Yep, this is going to everyone–Matt couldn't think of a way to filter to "only folks who might be interested." Written out in full, it takes up multiple pages of the notebook, so he'll parcel it as needed. ]

Apologies for the long message.

This is twofold: I wanted to share the results of surveying native Kenosians re: which Faction's goal they support, and also share some less organized notes on issues that affect all of us.

[ First up, a section entitled SURVEY, with "special thanks to Gavial, Dimitri, and Ryouma for their contributions." The main points are:

Purpose of the survey, which is to see if residents of Kenos express a clear preference for one Faction's goal or the other.

Limitations, which include timespan (a week), number of respondents, and possible biases due to lack of cultural familiarity with Kenos and lack of trust.

A summary of the survey questions, which include things like I enjoy change in my life, the bigger the better and I often think about regrets I have or things/people I've lost.

Results: Answers track perfectly, with city of origin being the determining factor for alignment with Meridian or Zenith. This held true across Alenroux as well, in contrast to Matt's hypothesis that there might be more variance due to geographic dispersal from centers of Faction power. In a direct vote, Meridian would sweep through population of Springstar alone.

Final notes include the following: The divide in answers is so clean that it represents either serious methodological error or an unusually homogeneous population. On earth we referred to a phenomenon of "political polarization" to indicate deep divides. In this case, I would call the polarization more like that of protons and elections–two forces that repel each other on the level of cells and molecules. ]

SHADOWS/OBLIVION
The groundwork for my understanding is: 1) Our worlds were destroyed or eaten by a vast darkness. Forever? I don't know. 2) When Shards are destroyed, that's for good. My world has a concept of matter and energy converting back and forth, with nothing able to be created or permanently destroyed. But the type of death that comes from Shard destruction is fundamentally subtractive. For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to refer to this concept of subtractive death as oblivion (credit for this term to Set).

Portents:

Shard-Bearers have received at least one vision from the Tree of Life about being forcibly ejected from their bodies while something else walks around inside.

I had a dream recently about being hunted.

Maybe less a portent and more a rumor, but a longtime resident of Kenos has stated that these types of shadows (see below, "Phenomena") are a new occurrence.

Phenomena:

Disappearances across Kenos (not all necessarily attributable to shadows or oblivion)

Shadows (and star/moonlight) of unusual properties that include weird size, burning or slashing, mood changes

I was informed about an oracle trial in which dissipated Shard-Bearers were mimicked by shadow beings who utilized their Shards to do so

My own experience/thoughts:

I have memories of running or fleeing from things made out of darkness before Yima brought me here.

Was almost dragged by shadows into Yima's reflecting pool; subsequent conversation revealed people had died that way and the bodies were never recovered (see above, "Phenomena," bullet point 1).

I saw a facsimile of my older sister at the market in Highstorm. She looked, behaved, and sounded exactly like her. I am not the only one.

I've tried some preliminary attempts to scry into the shadows in Springstar, and wasn't able to find out anything before one of them got me pretty good in the chest. (I'm okay.) I'll update if a future attempt is successful.

There are creatures from my own world that mimic familiar voices/faces to lure prey. There are also creatures that require consent before they can pass certain thresholds, such as those of a home.

Tentative conclusions: Something unique and hungry is coming for all of us. I understand things have been set into motion that can't be taken back, but I would urge anyone reading, if at all possible, to put fighting on hold until we figure out what the hell this stuff is and how to combat it. Or else there won't be a winner left at the end of all this.

Failing that, stay safe. Use the buddy system. Bring a durable light when you go out. Please send any of your own experiences, bad dreams, hunches, clarifications, or corrections. I'll update my own notes as needed.

[ ooc: BLESS YOU IF YOU READ THIS WHOLE THING. Feel free to comment with questions, brainstorming, dragging Matt, whatever. Or equally, feel free to just have your character know the things in here, if you want them to! ]

Comments

[semicharmed]

[ Matt's mental presence warms as he recognizes Drizzt's. He's trying so hard not to give in to easy answers, but he can't help but feel stabilized by his certainty. ]

Then ... [ He feels like maybe he should wait and let others weigh in, but he is technically part of everyone. ] Well, the worst case scenario is we die, I think. For good.

And there'll be nothing left for anybody after us. Not even the energy we'd normally pass on so something new could grow. So we would be ... unique in the history of all that's ever existed, vis-a-vis fucking it up.

[twohand]

[ Hi Matt!! The warmth is immediately reflected, as Drizzt politely listens to his opinion. And concerns, at that. ]

It wasn't so bad. Being dead. I died just before I was brought here, and determined that my presence here meant that I was to keep fighting on. I had wondered for a while if this was an afterlife, actually.

[ Not being allowed to go where his companions had made sense to him, in a fatalistic and bittersweet way. ]

But, what you're saying is that we won't just die... our deaths will rob existence itself of something vital?

[semicharmed]

[ A hint of alarm dopplers across Matt's mind like a distant flare. But ghosts and other revenants aren't unknown, where he comes from. He's spoken with a number of them. And they largely confirm what Drizzt is saying: it's not so bad being dead.

Of course, there's some sampling bias there. The spirits who do find it intolerable tend to move on. ]

That's what's been posited, yeah. By one of the local deities. Grain of salt, because I haven't seen this demonstrated, per se; I'm mostly taking his word as a subject matter expert on things relating to to energy, existence, creation and destruction ... but like. So normally, my understanding of cycles of life is that when you die, you go on to create the necessary energy for life elsewhere. As calories for carrion, chemicals to nourish the earth, the soul-ness of your soul moving the wheel on to the next cycle.

In this case, the assertion is that when our Shards are destroyed-- [ Sunlit kiss, flickering flame, snuff. Smokeless dark. ] --that energy is gone. It doesn't move anywhere. There's no--metaphysical fertilizer.

[twohand]

[ Drizzt is glad to know that Matt is taking things with a grain of salt ( disses on my own character, 'cause he's a JERK ), as in his experience, gods are just like mortals: they have their own motivations for doing and saying what they do. He'd be interested in knowing how a divinity relates to the world, but also refuses to allow himself to become so entangled with that worldview that it costs him his own. ]

That's terrible.

[ His voice, the impression of that sweet countertenor flickering like a small light in the dark, dips into honest concern. Not quite fear, but concern. The kind of concern that emboldens one to do something. ]

The force that destroyed our worlds in the first place does not seem to have managed to destroy us. After all, we were pulled to this realm. Either it was not done, or we were still existent despite it... and now. We are the ones capable of committing genuine evil.

[semicharmed]

[ Matt's perspective on deities is distinct from Drizzt's in some respects: He doesn't think gods are fallible per se, or mortal-like. In his view, each of them is only one facet of the universal whole--an indispensable piece of divinity, but not complete of themselves. Set can grant Set revelations, and Hathor can give Hathor ones, and both of those are different from what Kali or Ishtar might say. So it kinda maths out to the same thing. ]

That's a good point, [ Matt says, though he means both points. ] I guess what I worry about is they're capable of finishing the job, in theory, but haven't managed it yet. Tracking these events back, it seems like there was a big starting point when our worlds were destroyed, and then some comparative peace in Kenos ... and things are escalating now.

[ A mental sigh: soft, warm. Sorrowful. ]

It's kind of the story of sentience, though, isn't it? We're the only ones with the intellect, the purpose, the goal-setting ... and the greed, the fear, the anger ... to really hurt each other, profoundly. In ways that can't be fixed.