kenotebook post | ota | tl;dr

[semicharmed]

[ Yep, this is going to everyone–Matt couldn't think of a way to filter to "only folks who might be interested." Written out in full, it takes up multiple pages of the notebook, so he'll parcel it as needed. ]

Apologies for the long message.

This is twofold: I wanted to share the results of surveying native Kenosians re: which Faction's goal they support, and also share some less organized notes on issues that affect all of us.

[ First up, a section entitled SURVEY, with "special thanks to Gavial, Dimitri, and Ryouma for their contributions." The main points are:

Purpose of the survey, which is to see if residents of Kenos express a clear preference for one Faction's goal or the other.

Limitations, which include timespan (a week), number of respondents, and possible biases due to lack of cultural familiarity with Kenos and lack of trust.

A summary of the survey questions, which include things like I enjoy change in my life, the bigger the better and I often think about regrets I have or things/people I've lost.

Results: Answers track perfectly, with city of origin being the determining factor for alignment with Meridian or Zenith. This held true across Alenroux as well, in contrast to Matt's hypothesis that there might be more variance due to geographic dispersal from centers of Faction power. In a direct vote, Meridian would sweep through population of Springstar alone.

Final notes include the following: The divide in answers is so clean that it represents either serious methodological error or an unusually homogeneous population. On earth we referred to a phenomenon of "political polarization" to indicate deep divides. In this case, I would call the polarization more like that of protons and elections–two forces that repel each other on the level of cells and molecules. ]

SHADOWS/OBLIVION
The groundwork for my understanding is: 1) Our worlds were destroyed or eaten by a vast darkness. Forever? I don't know. 2) When Shards are destroyed, that's for good. My world has a concept of matter and energy converting back and forth, with nothing able to be created or permanently destroyed. But the type of death that comes from Shard destruction is fundamentally subtractive. For the sake of simplicity, I'm going to refer to this concept of subtractive death as oblivion (credit for this term to Set).

Portents:

Shard-Bearers have received at least one vision from the Tree of Life about being forcibly ejected from their bodies while something else walks around inside.

I had a dream recently about being hunted.

Maybe less a portent and more a rumor, but a longtime resident of Kenos has stated that these types of shadows (see below, "Phenomena") are a new occurrence.

Phenomena:

Disappearances across Kenos (not all necessarily attributable to shadows or oblivion)

Shadows (and star/moonlight) of unusual properties that include weird size, burning or slashing, mood changes

I was informed about an oracle trial in which dissipated Shard-Bearers were mimicked by shadow beings who utilized their Shards to do so

My own experience/thoughts:

I have memories of running or fleeing from things made out of darkness before Yima brought me here.

Was almost dragged by shadows into Yima's reflecting pool; subsequent conversation revealed people had died that way and the bodies were never recovered (see above, "Phenomena," bullet point 1).

I saw a facsimile of my older sister at the market in Highstorm. She looked, behaved, and sounded exactly like her. I am not the only one.

I've tried some preliminary attempts to scry into the shadows in Springstar, and wasn't able to find out anything before one of them got me pretty good in the chest. (I'm okay.) I'll update if a future attempt is successful.

There are creatures from my own world that mimic familiar voices/faces to lure prey. There are also creatures that require consent before they can pass certain thresholds, such as those of a home.

Tentative conclusions: Something unique and hungry is coming for all of us. I understand things have been set into motion that can't be taken back, but I would urge anyone reading, if at all possible, to put fighting on hold until we figure out what the hell this stuff is and how to combat it. Or else there won't be a winner left at the end of all this.

Failing that, stay safe. Use the buddy system. Bring a durable light when you go out. Please send any of your own experiences, bad dreams, hunches, clarifications, or corrections. I'll update my own notes as needed.

[ ooc: BLESS YOU IF YOU READ THIS WHOLE THING. Feel free to comment with questions, brainstorming, dragging Matt, whatever. Or equally, feel free to just have your character know the things in here, if you want them to! ]

Comments

[a_noble_flame]

[All of this is a touch over Alice's head in a way. She's in no shape or form adept at magic or anything spiritual beyond the idea of a person's "fighting spirit". When she reads about the facsimile of his sister though...]

When I was leaving Cyrus' ceremony I saw a figure across the street from me. I didn't speak to him but it was most definitely Corporal Randel Oland, one of the men in my squad.

[She'd recognize that big hulking frame of his anywhere by now.]

[semicharmed]

[ ALICE YOU'RE DOING GREAT. Not only is magic complicated, Matt's not ... fundamentally good at explaining things. That might be why he ended up in academia before the apocalypse. ]

Oh ... I'm glad you went to that, [ is his first response, rather than anything related to the subject of his lengthy missive. ] I'm sorry I missed it. [ He thought showing up as Zenith, even if it's not immediately obvious to most people, would be more salt in the wound. ] But yeah, that kind of thing, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

Did you have any ... feelings or compulsions associated with seeing him, that you can remember? Wanting to follow him?

[a_noble_flame]

[The feel of her communion, ever warm and comforting, softens further with his apology. There's a sense that she deeply appreciates that he wanted to go in the first place.

Thinking on what she saw that day though...]

I did. I had talked to him some time before I ended up here and the conversation was ... charged to say the least. I wanted to speak with him, of course, and make sure he was alright. If he was here I thought he must be as confused as I was when I first arrived but --

[And now another shiver goes up the back of her neck. It travels through her communion like spark of tension. Her intuition still works well even here in Kenos, sharp as ever.]

It wasn't him though. I knew that much.

[She pauses a moment.]

... Do you think whatever it is might be wearing the skins of those we know? Like the creatures of your world? Forgive me, we don't have anything like that where I'm from. Not that I know of at least.

[semicharmed]

[ It's nice: her warmth, her easy acceptance. Matt doesn't expect it of anyone here, really, given what they've all been through in recent days. He appreciates, too, that she recognizes the person she saw wasn't really her old comrade. It took him an embarrassingly long time of running around, asking Kenosians if they'd seen "a woman with dark curly hair" with no result, before he'd realized the truth.

At the question, an answering dread prickles across the psychic plane. ]

That is what I think, [ he admits. ] Specifically, I think that for whatever reason, the darkness that killed our worlds is taking their shape, and sounding like them, to ...

The creatures where I come from would do it to eat us.

[hauntedking]

...I admit to seeing familiar faces. And I've heard that some people who died and came back in the last Oracle competition reported a sense or dream of being pursued and overtaken by something large and dark. It's... not a good thought, is it?

[ He doesn't like any of this. ]

[semicharmed]

I guess technically, there's a mundane explanation for something like that, [ Matt allows. ] Trauma from our worlds being attacked. Destroyed.

But I've heard that when you die and come back here, you'll get visions from the Tree. So I'm inclined to think those are probably portents too.

[ Which is to say: He's in agreement, Dimitri. Not a good thought. ]

[hauntedking]

I can't say for sure it isn't trauma.

[ Dimitri admits this slowly. ]

I... experienced something similar when I was younger, before I ever came here. I saw the dead and heard them speak to me. Although that has thankfully faded with time.

[semicharmed]

Oh. [ Soft, sympathetic. ] That's hard, yeah. Like ... where I come from, what you're describing could be trauma. Or it could be the awakening of psychic or magical abilities, or the former could even lead to the latter.

I don't want to jump to a conclusion. But I'm trying to think about, like--okay, what would it mean if the dreams that multiple people have had, and the visions from the Tree, were all connected? And couldn't be explained by normal psychological phenomena?

[alliterating]

...I thought I saw someone I knew. If there is something coming, I guess we're gonna have to fight it.

[ There's the mental impression of a grimace. She's not that much of a scientist or a thinker or an analyzer except for in a few instances. So she settles for something else. ]

Sounds a bit like... honkai, maybe. The thing that's coming for us.

[semicharmed]

[ Matt's mental presence brightens a bit for the familiar voice. Like oh, hey! Whether she thinks of herself as a thinker or not, she's definitely given him something to mull over. Namely: ]

Honkai?

I don't know if we had those where I come from. Or at least, I'm not familiar.

[alliterating]

Entropy, I guess. Spiritual embodiment of it or whatever else you wanna call it. Kept cleansing the Earth and corrupting stuff until Kiana finally stopped the whole damn thing.

[ It's what powers her in part. ]

[semicharmed]

Entropy, [ Matt considers. ] Yeah ... entropy on steroids. Because a certain amount of entropy is necessary and even good, the way my world's scientists would've said it. It's "nature's tax." Or even just a way of saying that probabilistically, things are much more likely to not turn out the exact way you want them to.

This feels like ... a much higher tax than nature would normally levy.

[kaientai]

Wow, good work! This turned out nicely!

[ Ryouma is generally impressed by this sort of organisation because it's not his strength. ]

I've seen people that I know, but they always disappear before I can talk to them, even when they're the ones who come after me first. It's a little frustrating.

[ Among other things, but there's no way he's admitting to any other feelings about it. ]

[semicharmed]

[ There's the impression of a mental chuckle. Matt's getting a little better at communicating laughter through Communion, rather than laughter's result in his brain: the sparkle of endorphins, the chemical shimmer. ]

I couldn't have done it without you, [ he points out--playful, but also totally sincere. And he admits, ] That's how it was with my sister. She's the one who talked to me first, but when I tried to get close to her, she vanished.

Which at this point, I'm starting to think was a good thing.

[kaientai]

I'm glad I was able to help!

[ That small comment is unexpectedly welcome. He isn't one to seek praise or compliments, but things have been rough lately, so it's nice to feel useful. ]

The thing is, I thought I was seeing things at first.

Strictly speaking, I don't need to sleep, but I was beginning to think I might need to do it more often. I figured I was tired, even if I didn't feel tired.

Then it happened a few more times, and now I know I'm not seeing things because they're real. I don't know how I know it, but I do...

[ Ryouma trails off, at least having the sense to look sheepish about this. He doesn't like asserting something when his only evidence is his feelings. ]

It has to mean our worlds are still out there if nothing else.

[ At the same time, he would've preferred hallucinations or more dreams. It's worse knowing they're really there, nearly close enough to touch them before they're gone. It's worse to wonder what it means for the people on the other side. ]

It's probably inevitable that things will continue to escalate after what's happened, but I can't help but hope this might make the Zenites stop and think. I would hope it's harder to consider the possibility of condemning one's loved ones to the void when they're standing right in front of you.

[ None of this is good, but if it helps pull any Zenites off the path of destruction, it's at least something positive that will have come out of it. ]

[semicharmed]

[ Matt listens carefully--"listens"?--as the words and their tinges of emotion flow into his brain. He tries to make it clear he's taking it all seriously. Which you'd think would be easy to do when you're basically inside each other's minds, but with Communion, Matt finds sometimes that he misses a sense of embodiment. The warmth and gravity of sitting next to someone, nodding as they talk. ]

I think they're definitely real, [ he answers slowly. He's a big believer in trusting your gut; he can't imagine magic without it. ] What I don't know is if they're really--

Who they appear to be.

That's why I think it's significant that the shadows around here have imitated familiar voices and faces before, and that shadow beings have mimicked Shard-Bearers. I think it's possible that they're diversifying their tactics.

[escardos]

Oh, that's a great post! You really worked hard to make it easier to understand. If I were to make a few corrections, I'd say add a tl;dr at the end of it.

[ and then there's a pause in the connection, something like a blip in the connection. ]

Oh, also, they're real people. They're just filled with something weird. I wonder if it's also related to the shadows?

[semicharmed]

[ Immediately, over the psychic hotline: a sense of embarrassed agreement. Yes, totally, he should have a more condensed takeaway somewhere in here. ]

The only problem, [ oops, he meant to say "thank you for reading and offering feedback" first, but his brain wants to launch immediately into addressing problems, ] is that I'm not sure what the tl;dr here actually is.

[ A slight pause. ]

What do you mean by "they're real people," exactly? What makes you say that?

[escardos]

TL;DR Stop trying to kill each other and focus on the really weird phenomena that are happening instead before it kills us both?

[ well, flat doesn't really mind not receiving a thanks for it. who gives feedback for the sake of being thanked? losers. ]

I mean that they're real people of course. I could see it. [ a pause. ] Magically, I mean!

[twohand]

Denying that this danger exists is, at the least, idle fancy. At the worst, it is ignorance that will cost our meager numbers greatly.

[ Gently said, but with a backbone of steel and faith. From day one, Drizzt has not flinched from the knowledge that something great destroyed their worlds — and his firm claim that returning was possible, but a suicidal mission he has no intention of supporting. ]

I understand the value in standing together, for there is strength in numbers — but, the question I ask of everyone is... if we cannot fight it, what then?

[semicharmed]

[ Matt's mental presence warms as he recognizes Drizzt's. He's trying so hard not to give in to easy answers, but he can't help but feel stabilized by his certainty. ]

Then ... [ He feels like maybe he should wait and let others weigh in, but he is technically part of everyone. ] Well, the worst case scenario is we die, I think. For good.

And there'll be nothing left for anybody after us. Not even the energy we'd normally pass on so something new could grow. So we would be ... unique in the history of all that's ever existed, vis-a-vis fucking it up.

[twohand]

[ Hi Matt!! The warmth is immediately reflected, as Drizzt politely listens to his opinion. And concerns, at that. ]

It wasn't so bad. Being dead. I died just before I was brought here, and determined that my presence here meant that I was to keep fighting on. I had wondered for a while if this was an afterlife, actually.

[ Not being allowed to go where his companions had made sense to him, in a fatalistic and bittersweet way. ]

But, what you're saying is that we won't just die... our deaths will rob existence itself of something vital?

[faceripper]

[ ew a zenite :/ ]

[ No, luckily Fane does not know this, so he doesn’t have to come hot right out of the gate. However, being a nerd, he does consider just writing back, since that feels a little more nostalgic for him… But he decides against it. He loves writing, but talking is faster.

The space of Fane’s communion is represented uniquely as well—It’s clearly a library of some kind, but there are no paper books on the shelves. It’s all tablets that gleam with teal magic for the glyphs, and all of the bookshelves, the floor, everything, it seems to be impossibly crafted out of fine stone and crystal. It’s a facsimile of his office in the Academy, the place where he felt most comfortable.

And in addition, Fane himself is much more present when Communing than others are. It is, after all, the only place where he can represent himself as he wants to be seen. He seems to be a rather unique variety of elf just from his ears, but his blue skin, the bony protrusions on his face, and his eyes that seem to be made of starlight definitely make him unique, so far as typical depictions go. ]

I have dealt with these shadows quite personally. Destroying them, of course, since they are not terribly strong. I assume that’s why they take the cowardly route of mimicry.

[ He sighs, and waves his hand a bit dismissively, but he’s just putting on airs a bit. It had unsettled him more than he’d like. ]

I was one of the Shard-Bearers that got caught up by it during the Harbinger oracle. Thankfully, Hayame dissipated me before any real damage could be done, but I can confirm it uses the Shard. It’s unpleasant and to be avoided, naturally.

[semicharmed]

[ Matt's never one to say no to unfamiliar energies. So he willingly follows the current of Fane's Communion, which feels to him as if a library of glowing crystal and stone wells up around him. And yet his attention is drawn to Fane as if a piece of him knows he's the most important point in the landscape.

Matt takes a step closer, peering into starry eyes. He manages to put across a pretty decent impression of himself, in terms of height (mid), build (noodle), and coloring (Snow White). Instead of his Highstorm duds, however, the mindscape version of him is wearing a t-shirt bearing the lurid text SCANDAL AT THE CONVENT! ]

Oh, jeez ... I'm sorry to hear that. Glad you got out okay. [ Matt is only vaguely trying to keep track of who might be in which faction. In his defense, he's been thinking through a lot of other stuff in recent days. (In his not-so-defense ... Matt.) ] Interesting to hear they're destroyable; I was kind of worried maybe they wouldn't be. What tactics worked on them, exactly?

[ Can you, in fact, punch the shadows. ]

[faceripper]

[ Luckily (?), while Fane does raise an eyebrow at the t-shirt, he does not, in fact, know what a convent is. Maybe he’ll ask later, but he’s a serious fellow, so for now, he’s all business. ]

As am I. Purely to add to knowledge on the subject, I was full conscious during. It was like my body was being puppeted by whatever it was, Void take it. That is why it’s to be avoided. The experience did not do me harm, seemingly, but it’s still unpleasant to experience and just as much to be dissipated.

[ The latter is something he had pointedly not thought too much about, nor is he about to start. It was necessary to stop him, and Hayame had done just that. There’s nothing further to consider, or so he stubbornly insisted. ]

They’re resilient, but my magic worked just fine. It’s no worse than anything else I’ve fought, but the numbers overwhelmed me. [ He shakes his head, but it’s with a little sigh. ] Though the shadows we encountered in that maze are a bit different from the ones I’ve seen about here. They were a bit more tangible. Perhaps the must be, in order to steal Shards? Or to properly mimic people… Well, no matter. They should be destroyed either way.